How Gratitude Can Overcome the Negativity Bias
Humans are Hardwired for Negativity
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to focus on the negative aspects of life rather than the positive ones? How do we tend to remember the insults more than the compliments, the failures more than the successes, the losses more than the gains? This is not a coincidence nor a sign of pessimism. It is a natural tendency of the human brain, which has evolved, to pay more attention to potential threats than to rewards. This is known as the negativity bias, which influences our emotions, decisions, and behaviours.
However, this does not mean we are doomed to be unhappy or dissatisfied with our lives. On the contrary, we can learn to overcome the negativity bias and cultivate a more balanced and optimistic outlook. One of the ways to do this is to practice gratitude, which is the appreciation of what we have rather than what we lack. Gratitude can help us counteract the negative effects of the negativity bias by enhancing our well-being, strengthening our relationships, and boosting our resilience.
When my kids were young, we had a simple but effective way of daily practising gratitude. We had this ritual where everyone had to say two good things and one bad thing that happened that day. That included me and my then-partner. The good things could be anything, from getting a good grade on a test to finding a new friend to enjoying a delicious meal. The bad thing could be anything, from fighting with someone to losing a toy to feeling sick. The point was to acknowledge the positive and the negative aspects of our experiences without ignoring or exaggerating either.
The biggest gift that this dinner ritual gave us was the act of reflection and figuring out what’s most important out of each day. As a culture, we might reflect on yearly goals on New Year and each day, we rush, rush, rush, but the act of vocalising what we’re grateful for each day in front of our family shifts our mind from racing to reflection. When you’re a kid, that’s a real lesson in mindfulness. Plus, talking about one bad thing kept things realistic and, more importantly, allowed my kids to dig at their siblings, which always made us laugh.
This ritual helped us develop a habit of gratitude, which has stayed with me and my kids ever since. Even though we no longer live together, we still call each other and share our good and bad things occasionally. It is a way of staying connected and supporting each other, as well as reminding ourselves of the many blessings that we have in our lives. Gratitude is one of the best antidotes to the negativity bias and one of the easiest ways to increase happiness and satisfaction. Try it for yourself and see the difference it can make.
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