Happy Places
Family Feasts and Extended Kin
I was not born into one of those large families that populated the island. I was a child of the sixties when having three children was considered normal by most educated parents. But I had a vast network of relatives. A grandmother, a host of uncles and aunts, and their elders from both sides of the family. I belonged to a large extended family, though not to a large immediate one.
My family occasions were the church feasts of our kin. They were my joy on the weekends. They also included our church feast, the feast of St. Francis of Sales. He was the patron saint of our church. The feast day was his birthday. According to the Catholic calendar, it came in late January or early February. Everyone came to us, some a day or two before, and stayed with us, crowding our rooms and sharing our beds, food and living spaces.
I had to face the fact that I was part of a large extended family bound by blood. The only advantage of this was that some gave me little gifts, a few rupees here and there, for me to buy sweets or toys at the church fairs.
There was always something enchanting about the church feasts and these regular family gatherings. It was expected that we would visit our kin at their church feasts. No invitations were needed. A small feast was ready for you on the day you just showed up. Men were given quick shots of arrack before the main meal. All the women, both the host and the guests, would busy themselves in the kitchen and cook the main meal.
Children would roam around the garden, playing with marbles or picking fruits from the lush trees. Meats, vegetables, and salads were prepared, while sweetmeats were offered to all guests. The whole house was a cauldron.
The elders would come to me and say, “Oh my, how you have grown! Look how tall you are now”. It was not easy to listen to them, repeating how tall I had become when I had not noticed my growth. These commentaries were not very pleasant, but spending time with my extended family and running around in a different setting was tolerable. Putting on my best behaviour was the hardest part.
We enjoyed the day without worry, eating grand meals and sweets. We considered it a gift of community because everyone deserved family, love, and community.
Subscribe to my stories https://djayasi.medium.com/subscribe.
